I have been making jokes on the following types of people on corruption in Uganda and Kenya , regarding Cronyism (favouring friends) and Patronage (favouring supporters) closely relate to this or Influence Peddling meaning; Participation by public officials – in the course of their official work – in a decision in which they have private interest or from which they stand to gain (directly or indirectly)
Geographicals: Those who deal with one another because they come from the same area. For example a deal being given to a person because of their origin and in Uganda and Kenya this is connected to the type of Name one has.... you can tell the origin.
Historicals: These are connected by events in History. In Uganda we have some corrupt officials who are historical in the NRA/M struggle for power context- because they went to the bush in 1980s and the eating is also done because of that historical connections.... This is also clear in the case of Kenya’s OUR TURN TO EAT!
Biologicals: These are the ones connected by blood in terms of relationships and the truth this is the highest form of nepotism in East Africa.
In-laws: They are connected by marriage; a very important factor in choosing who to work with and steal with. Many people marry to get promotions or tenders rather than make a family
Physicals: Given service because of the way they look. You are more likely to take a tender if you are a 'foreigner ‘or you are quite fat and look very smart... physically
Chemicals: These attract the procuring entity because of the chemistry they create in them. Either because they are witch doctors or are quite sexually attractive and this gives them an edge over others. This is also connected to sexuals.
Regionals These are put to balance the number of people coming from a certain region. It has nothing to do with competence. More related to Geographicals except these claim that they have a share of the national cake.
Religiosicals: These believe that your religious friend no matter what is more important than even a brother. Religious leaders or rather dealers are more trusted than any category in this regard. And truth be told Africans are deeply religious and they value religious friendship even in Public administration.
Numericals: those are corrupt by numbers and because everybody is corrupt. They enter offices when they are clean and are overwhelmed by numbers of those who are corrupt and the amount of assets and even without doubt admire the numbers in billions the corrupt are taking… hence numerical. This is also related to tribal eating where the more you are the more it becomes difficult even to open a case against you!
Mathematicals: These are rather calculative and they use what economists call cost-benefit analysis. They calculate the amount involved and compare with the risk and find that they can indeed handle. They even do mathematics on the amount of bribes they will pay… just in case Police or any agency tries to work. This also has something to do with those who are recruited to have a number' from certain regions or even gender.
Financials: These are recruited and they give out their rights on money for a number of months. Others forfeit their allowances as a bribe....END